the city on my face

sf part II (i'll do part I later, promise)
1. YAY for a day of public transit, pedestrianism, and for once not getting lost while being in charge of navigation!!!

2. the sf moma was fun but i got modern/contemporary arted out after one floor. surprised that i recognized as many artists as i did, thanks mr. jordan and elementary school art class!

3. gotta love chinatown hole in the wall restaurants that let you order off menu and give you soup even though it's not lunch time.

4. citylights bookstore is as awesome as i remember, i've never found every writer i was looking for in one bookstore before. as always i left with no money and a looooooong book wish list. they should really add a sizable used book section and book lending program since it's a "people's bookstore."

5. bought a book teaching to transgress by bell hooks for my sister and after reading the intro i wanna keep it. is it bad to not give someone a gift and discuss it with them if they don't know you bought it for them in the first place? anyways, some of the things i like so far: "learning as revolution," "ecstasy- pleasure and danger," knowing that someone else felt tracked to be a teacher and resisted, the fact that she dedicates a whole chapter to freire and opens with a quote from him and he reviewed her book with pure praise, and she dedicates the book to beginning again. i'm only 5 pages in.

"...to begin always anew, to make, to reconstruct, and to not spoil, to refuse to bereaucratize the mind, to understand and live life as a process- live to become..." - Paolo Freire (italics added)

finally

a good december

decembers have always been good to me. xmas was always complete family time: xmas eve with dad's side sometimes lacking a tree if my crazy auntie was hosting but always good food and family, xmas morning with the immediate family- constantly comparing gifts with my sister, and xmas dinner/night with mom's side- more recently with a bunch of little kiddies runnin around. then december became a month of anniversaries to add to the joyous season. anniversaries that were celebrated until this december. this was supposed to be the hardest month to get through with dead anniversaries and new reunions. but it has turned out to be one that i will always remember with a smile and nostalgic tears. this is all thanks to the homies who got me out and listened when we were in and the family who were always a quiet support offering up excuses to get me out of potential situations where an out might be needed. it has become a month of validation by everyone in my life, even those only there for fleeting moments and from the moments of little cousins fighting to sit in my lap and wanting me to be the only one to help open presents and relatives wanting me to sign my photos.
last night 5 years ago i stayed up all night talking on the phone at the cusp of a love i no longer have and thus i believed the ugliness of grief would squeeze sorrow from my eyes 5 years later. but instead i stayed up until the wee hours of the morning with old friends with the rain as the only water falling. today i anticipated brought in with tears and loneliness and instead it has begun with a late night/early morning phone call with a much loved and beautiful friend. i can't wait for the sun to rise (even if it is hidden by some much needed rain clouds) today. it is going to be a good day. it is a good december.

soup, bread, and water cups

a lot has changed in a week.
a lot has stayed the same.
still bruised but not broken and learning to live without.
still tears in the car but fewer and far between.

i am composing a new playlist for life right now.
i'm happy the other has run its course for now.

i left smiling, content in our awkwardness.
or maybe just mine.
i can't give what i used to and that's ok.
maybe i will be able to again one day.
maybe then we won't be strangers that meet up one day for coffee with nothing to say.

few tears, not mine.
the excuse of water to hide them.
truths learned.
controlled and fluid bitterness and joy.

my happiness is still contingent on something outside of me.

this really is my becomings.

wins

old friends and foes, new friends made. no drama. laughing until my face hurts. heartland scramble WITH pancakes. i win. no one loses. :)

today is the day. i dunno what to feel. i hope it's another win where no one loses. breathe. it is everything we are looking for.

thank you letter

i have so many reasons to love life, even with the unfamiliar pain that has entered it recently. or maybe because of the pain that has surfaced. i've written thank you letters to love and to the loved, thanking them for everything they have given me. i think now i want to write a love letter to life. i don't know what to say exactly yet but hopefully words will compose themselves as they see fit in the near future. i guess for now i just have another thank you letter. thank you friends for witty repartee, keeping me humble, giving me reason to smile,just being there, listening, and literally/figuratively pushing me into my insecurities. thank you home for being here even though i've been away more than i've been here. thank you the bay for giving me another reason to love you. thank you san jose for not swallowing my car into lost oblivion- even though i accidentally ran a red light, oops. thank you mother nature for not taking out your frustration with the human race on my drive back to cv- i really do appreciate that. thank you winter break for giving me time to turn my brain off for a little bit. thank you familia for still being here despite my neglect of you. o and on a smaller sillier note, thank you gchat and gchatrooms.

over

say goodbye- chris brown
diary- alicia keys
it's over- jesse mccartney
i hate this part right here- the pussycat dolls
big girls don't cry- fergie
forever- ben harper
chasing pavements- adele
brown eyed blues- adrian hood
burn- usher
ps i'm still not over you- rihanna
hate that i love you- rihanna/neyo
officially missing you- tamia
everybody knows- john legend

all the king's horses- joss stone
right as rain- adele
bruised but not broken- joss stone
energy- keri hilson
the time of my life- david cook
first love- adele
listen- beyonce
best of me- chrisette michele
Goodbye- alicia keys
be ok- chrisette keys
better in time- leona lewis
one step at a time- jordin sparks
dear prudence- across the universe
superwoman- alicia key
the heart of the matter- india arie

4 cd day
thanks joss stone for getting me through the day

not left behind

So it's SOCC weekend, right? and i think, i should bring some books/work with me, just in case i get inspired to be productive. I pick up two books, all about love and miss universe. i hesitate, am i really gonna read this weekend, for reals? probably not. so i put all about love down and hurriedly put miss universe in my beautiful womyn with the earrings bag and head to work.

instead of a nap after work i decided to peer into the pages of ruby's universe again. last night it felt like i was sneaking in and listening to secrets i wasn't supposed to hear. i couldn't even open the book all the way so that the spine would crease- the book still lays flat on the table. i open it and am chilled again by the editor's note. i turn the pages past the table of contents eager for the first poem. instead i come across what i left behind this morning, bell hooks. before her first poem in her first book, ruby shared one of my favorite passages from all about love- a passage that reassured me that my preoccupation with love, and its new found affair with academia in my life, is worthy.

so coincidence? i think not. fate? maybe. faith? for sure.

thank you solace for making the crease in the binding.

the weight of a dollar bill

Of all the people there, why us? Why did he choose us to harass, to accost? What was it about our bodies that signified to him that we were the ones to be the demeaned, torn apart and objectified? Was it our yellow and brown bodies? Was it our female bodies dressed in clubbing garb covered in scarves and jackets to shield our pain from being gazed at all night by penetrating eyes of sexualized desire? Why when Mary shouted that everyone turned but no one got up? No one said a simple, yea man you need to leave. Why is it that we had to ask a man to kick him out? Why were our words not enough? Why did not other man, woman, anyone see their privilege as not the site of direct hate to get up and say something? Why did this man say, “You don’t have power over me?” Where is that coming from? He exerted his power, his privilege, his white male privilege to break down our brown and yellow female spirits. Where was our power? Why is it that we can be stripped of all our power, all our worth by one man? With all the rhetoric, discourse, and theory we learn about in class, why is it that we couldn’t say anything to this man to feel safe again? Why did we need to be rescued? Why on a Friday night to 5 beautifully strong womyn need a man to chaperone them so that they can dance for 30 seconds without being grabbed at or objectified by prying eyes? Where is my validation? This man threw dollar bills at us. What, to buy us? Are we for sale? My body is not for sale! You cannot buy my spirit or my dignity. He was right; we don’t have power over him. Why? Why is it that my self-worth can crumble under the weight of a dollar bill floating gently to the floor? After all the love that has surrounded me and given me a core that makes me believe that I will be ok, that I am worthy, one man, one dollar bill can erase that in a moment? This is why we need these spaces. This is the everyday struggle that spaces like these give us a place to feel safe. Me and my girls couldn’t go out to a late night grub and feel safe. That says something. That says that there’s something wrong, something that needs to be recognized and talked about. My existence is for me. I do not exist for the eyes of others, for the maintenance of your corrupting power, to be the survivor of your hate. I exist for me. I exist for my sisters. I exist because I matter.

chugging along..choo choo!!

So I'm a little late on an update but better late then never. Last Thursday's tour of Little Tokyo and the Gentrification panel were great (so was the food!) It was really awesome to walk around Little Tokyo and get a little more perspective. The panel after was cool too. I really like the big circle discussion that we had after the panel. i wish that everyone was able to stay. It was encouraging and enlightening finding that our collective interviews reflected a lot of what the panel had to say. Especially how Christable and I's conclusions about thoughts about gentrification in K-town is classed. The KIWA rep, I don't remember his name :/ was really insightful. It was appalling, though sadly not surprising, hearing about how people who are entitled to over $17,000 for their homes are settling for $1,000 because they don't know their rights or are afraid it could jeopardize their well being. Furthermore, how it is not necessarily non-Koreans that are doing these things and how so many of tenants in K-town are living in inhabitable homes with leaky faucets that would disintegrate if not for the bricks that are holding them up! IT MAKES ME SO UPSET!!! GRRRRRRR!!!! Oy! Well anyways, THANK YOU TO THE PANEL AND THE PEOPLES WHO SET IT ALL UP FOR US!!!! :D
After leaving JANM we got work time, which was good because got to regroup and re-evaluate some deadlines. Unfortunately, my VERY long Thursday did not end there. After LEAp time I had to go to FilAm Arts for a FPAC Builders meeting, a meeting of all the coordinators, interns, and volunteers. It was a good meeting because we broke up into groups, Programming, Marketing, Business, and Logistics. The Programming meeting went well. Lots of people want to help out, which is AWESOME and a relief. We got people who want to be in charge of the DJ Tribute, the Street Dance Showcase and help out with the Tinikling Battle. After the meeting was over and done with, everyone mingled around while Ben and I were discretely trying to clean up to passively coax people to leave so we could leave because we both had other places to be. It didn't really work but we were relieved of our duties at 8:50ish.Now onto a new topic: YAY for LEAP people and LEAP intern meetings!! They are the light at the end of my day/week! Well this time is was the light at the beginning of my week! And boy am I glad that I had that to run off of this week. 
After getting off work on Monday, after a packed weekend and busy Monday, it didn't even feel like I was  going off to work some more! LEAP intern energy=<3
Ok, back to talk about work. It's been a lot of emailing back and forth since Mark, the Programming coordinator, went home to Florida and we are in the process of finalizing the performer's for FPAC (we're SOOOO close!). Then yesterday at the end of the day, meaning at 7:10, 10 minutes after I was supposed to off work, a short interrogation and more work got sprung on me!! AHHHHH!!!! Always happens when I have somewhere else to be! It perturbed me a bit since I had been done with my work since 6:30ish and more work was not requested of me until after I was supposed to be off work. A bit inconsiderate I think. OY. Also, like most organizations/groups, things can get a but disorganized. Delegating work and responsibility and being clear about what is expected of someone are some of the most important things in an organization and I think that at this juncture, it's a work in progress.
(continuing from Wednesday...gosh this blogging is long sometimes!)
Tuesday is a blur since Ben, the 4th and only boy intern, has been home in the Bay since last thursday. I think it consisted of some more organizing performing artist information...but honestly I don't remember, it seems o so long ago! I think a taco and scoops was involved though...
Wednesday went by HELLA fast! I spent the beginning of my day organizing all the performing artist information and color-coding (i <3color-coding)
Well anyways, I enjoyed helping Clarissa map out the exhibit and only wish i could have been there to help her and Matthew (last year's PAN intern) yesterday. I think that I may have lost out on a HUGE learning opportunity by not stepping up. Lesson learned....hopefully. 
Yesterday (Thursday) was wonderful as always because I got to see all the LEAp people. Well except Nessa cuz she's in DC. I missed her!! The group felt so small!! I felt as if I should be hearing her laugh and seeing her scrunch up her face when she misheard something someone said for something completely ridiculous. :D Yesterday was really busy. We all went straight to SAG and got to see where Hann Li works. It is SOOOOO nice!!! and so are the people!! They had all this stuff set up for us. Muffins, fruit, juice, a video conference with the NY guy Adam. Yulisa, Shoshana, and Rebecca are all AMAZING women!!! I was so excited to see three women of color heading up the Affirmative Action division of SAG!!!!! Yulisa gave us a tour of SAG. I am usually not a cubicle fan but the SAG are the best cubicles you could possibly have. They are short so that you can see the people in the other cubicles and most were filled with personal momentos like action figures, plants, and photographs. The walls of SAG  were all murals of movies, most of them old classics like Showboat or the Wizard of OZ. They had some newer ones like Glory and the Last Emperor as well. We all got goodie bags at the end too!! :D I realized that there were a  lot of job opportunities at SAG that I could consider myself or tell my friends about. For instance, being a lawyer for a union, part of their affirmative action division etc. 
Then we were off to NAKASEK to see where Christable works. I LOVE the building!!! It is SOOOOOOOOOOO colorful, you hafta take of your shoes to enter, and there is a little make-shift bridge from one building to the next!!! Everyone was so nice there too!! One of the women we met who is working on Health Care issues right now was wonderful. She is also a performing artist who breaks mirrors with her body to symbolize breaking through stereotypes, not letting other tell you who you are, and overcoming barriers and obstacles. Our tour guide Hyunjoon Lee was AWESOME!! She has a strong passion that flows through her and is clearly expressed in her actions and speech. She reminded us to keep one foot outside our orgs, to be critical of orgs and what they do and don't do. YAY FOR A CRITICAL MIND!! Also she asked us what we thought organizing meant. Collectively we came up with: act/action, people, empowerment. Organizing is action for the purpose of people's empowerment. Without action, their is not organization. We gots to get past the talk and ACT.
After, Sookyung hopped in the car with Scott, Amy, Megan, and I and we were off to APALC (the Asian Pacific American Legal Center) for an immigration panel. Katy talked to us about her work with trafficking victims in Koreatown, mostly sex trafficking. She explained that a lot of the hotels, massage parlors, taxis, and salons are complacent or implicit in the sexual slavery of Korean women and their trafficking.  She touched on T Visa and how the women must cooperate with law enforcement in their investigations in order to obtain a T Visa. In our small discussions she told Amy and I how often time the law enforcement officers the women have to speak with are men and the interpreters are older men. This creates a hostile environment for the women to relive some of the most traumatizing times in their lives. Some of the older male interpreters interpret the women's words in chauvinistic ways. There are a lack of resources that lead to much of this happening. Sookyung was really interesting to talk to as well. She shared how NAKASEC is an advocacy organization for Korean and Korean Americans. Something that I really like about NAKASEC is as an advocacy group it takes tough stances on controversial issues and ACTS in a productive way, two things that not all organizations can/are willing to do. The last panel member was Nomach, a Cambodian Refugee who works for PACE. He spoke about how we should all bring our friends into the non-profit arena. O yea, we ate yummy food from Christable's restaurant!!! :P 
The LEAP day ended with some project time. We figured out the layout for our project, what the intro and conclusion should touch upon, and a title. It was a long day and everyone was tired and a bit loopy but it was a fun day nonetheless. Well, the day ACTUALLY ended with a lovely trip to Office Depot and Candice's glorious find of purple post-its and Hann Li's entertaining indecisiveness.
ok, done for now.

slow days=catching up

In another lull. The rush of artists to turn in their applications for FPAC on time/almost on time is over. No access to myspace=an inability to do a big chunk of viral marketing. Unresponsive non-performing artists= :(. artists rush over+no myspace+unresponsive artists=blogging

Last week was a busy one. Busy at FilAm and then the Gala and the luncheon. Thursday before the gala was FUN! I wish I got to hang out with LEAP interns everyday!! Since we finished up our presentations and needed to get out of LEAP staff's way during the hustle and bustle before the gala, we got a FREE DAY!! It consisted of eating Little Tokyo's delectable baked goods, squatting outside a non-existent MOCA exhibit, debating on whether or not it was worth $2-$4 to go see the Mike Shinoda exhibit for 40 minutes, deciding that it was, Amy using her mad skills and getting us in to JANM for free (yea, she's cool like that), using Candice's phone for a Ikebana self-guided tour, collectively creating the most atrocious Ikebana known to the JA community, literally jumping for joy because LEAP interns rock, and wishing that everyday was a LEAP free day. O and a yummy lunch from a Jewish deli. Gotta love latkes! Come to think of it, I think I left them in the LEAP fridge, WOOPS!

Then we got put to work loading cars in the icky LA heat, then creating packets in the overly cool dining room at the Omni Hotel, and helping set up the silent auction. Honestly, I thought we were going to be doing more than we did. Then we all got dolled up. We clean up good! :P think that we all did some stalling, trying to put off the necessary networking. networking=awkward starfish The gala was packed. It felt like big reunion where everyone knew everyone and then there I was trying to butt in. After everyone sat down for dinner it wasn't quite as awkward. I had a few nice girls at my table who were new at IW group. They saved my food and made sure i got a dessert! But for the most part the people at my table kept to their little circles. Maybe some were there for the free food? the silent auction? Many didn't even stay until the end and half cleared out in the middle to check on the status of their items. Are there alternatives?

I enjoyed the luncheon very much. The board members wonderful!! They actually wanted to hear what us interns had to say. The table where Christable and I sat was AMAZING!!!! They were so encouraging when Christable was nervous to ask for money for the NAKASEC kids! S.K. made a basket out of a napkin! Their persistence and devotion to helping the interns was remarkable. Even though it was a small action that they took, it made a huge difference for Christable's kids and proved to me that board members aren't all stuffy people in a huge conference room sitting atop comfy leather backed chairs at a long mahogany table. O MONEY, what should I do in our love/hate relationship?

Ok, done for now. Maybe a less fluffy entry next time?

Double Blog Day. Aren't you proud?

I didn't get a chance to blog about a new hero that has entered my life. This past Saturday, I spent 5ish hours womanning the FilAm Arts table at the Lotus Festival at Echo Park Lake. It was a typical muggy LA summer day and as the sun set, heat crept in under the canopies. I was supposed to leave at aroun 5:15 when Albert returned from some networking around the festival. To my joy, as it turned out, he was late to return. This meant that I heard more of Manong Tony's teachings and philosophies on life.

Manong Tony insists that he is a nobody but after speaking with him I must disgree with him on this point. He is one of the most somebodied people I have ever met. I've often heard people say how you can see passion in someone's eyes and I have thought myself a witness to that true passion. I was wrong. When Manong Tony speaks his eyes brim with passion and even more so when they are brimming with tears. Manong Tony taught me better what I thought I already knew. He showed me what living what you believe looks like.

Humility is truth. Only with humility can you find truth. There is no other way to work with the people. You must be humble. You cannot understand another person if you do not care, and only truly humble people can truly care. If you are rich than you can never be sure that people are really there for you, who you are, or if they are there for what you have.
Be humble in competition. If you win, know that you could not have won if someone else had not competed and lost. Thank your competitors for their ambition, without them you could not have achieved what you did. If you lost, know that without you, there would have been no winner.
If you become famous, don't forget the power that comes with it and use it well. Sometimes showing up can do so much- just saying you will be there and showing up, has power. Don't forget your communities because they don't forget you.

Somthing he didn't say but he taught me in those 45 minutes was real dedication, love, and honesty.

He is writing it all down as a book. I asked him to record his voice because it is harder to get someone's spoken words out of your head than to close a book. I would listen and recording it would help me remember.

OMG! She's such a D!

SO, you know when you get a tight, knot feeling in your chest that's only purpose is to make you double check what you're about to say? When you feel your eyebrow rise and a smirk itching to crawl across your face? Well today was a day that ended with one of those. Now I gotta say that though painful, I am thankful for that knot. It has given me time to evaluate myself and my CBO.

Things are really starting to pick up. The office had a pretty steady stream of calls and call backs all day. Today I worked with Clarissa to put the finishing touches on the Visual Artist/Tribal Cafe exhibition (Many Visions, One People- pretty good title for a 2 minute brainstorm I think) and sent them out. We got about 8 more artists from the artist call out for performing artists, up to 32ish?? We got one from DDL Roundhouse, which was awesome since, thanks to Hann Li and his hook ups, he, Fatima, and I saw them on Friday at the Key Club. From 3:30 on, the distinguished musical programming panel (myself, Mark- the Programming Director, Clarissa, Selyna, and Albert- the Business Director) listened to half of the artists that submitted their stuff. It was fun hearing all the different kinds of music that came in, everything from professional to amateur to Beatles-like stuff to music reminiscent of Incubus to accompany the flurry of Hip Hop. A Few female artists stood out in the male dominated submissions.

After the music panel dispersed and the day was drawing to its 7:00 end, I realized, even more than before, how everybody should take the DISC quiz and take it to heart. I went head to head with a D today- and by head to head I mean that they were hittin hard like crazy, though I'm not sure she felt it in her heart too. Now a D in a classic position of power is a difficult thing. Now, more than ever, I realize that when I come across this sort of D, one that isn't easy to compromise or reach a consensus, the "D" signals a deep breath. Thank you knot in my chest and throat.

However, the knot can not be fully explained by the D-ness I came up against. The core of it is to be explained by my realization of my role as a non-pinay intern in a Filipino Organization.
The composition of the interns goes like this, half of us are Filipino and half aren't, 3/4 female, all college students, 3/4 paid, 3/4 API, half returning from a semester abroad, half with some Tagalog familiarity, and half involved in Filipino orgs on their respective college campuses. The rest of the organization, as far as I know, is Filipino/a. Now before today my non-filipino-ness never seemed a hindrance, my lack of knowledge about various traditional Filipino customs, foods etc that the festival illuminates was, as one coordinator put it, only a step behind many Filipino Americans. Today I felt discounted, my opinion and ability, because I "didn't know how it is." To be discounted, cast aside, looked over, ignored, glanced at and then passed over is something contrary to what I feel my LEAP internship and my CBO is about. Just because I do not on the face (pun kinda intended) seem like part of "the community" doesn't make my opinion matter less, it doesn't warrant condescension or being "skooled" or being treated like there was no way I would ever understand. I ask for what all CBO's ask of the those they are trying to wake up and make aware. I ask for few assumptions, I may know more than you think or I may not. I ask for the recognition that being inclusive necessitates complexity. Complexity in people, in business, in strategy, within "the community," with those "outside" the community. Inclusion necessitates complexity. Complicating labels, stereotypes, perceptions, authenticity- this is what we do. This is what CBOs do. So don't "tell me how it is." I'm learning. Learn with me.

not my mom and pop so it must be someone's

is it Yang Ji? or Yanggi Soellengtang? well one thing for sure is that it is 698 S. Vermont K-town Los Angeles. the restaurant was nearly empty. the only other customer was a lone man sitting with a blue tooth in his ear, every Californian's new best friend as of the 1st beating out blackberries, completely concentrated on eating, not once looking up at the blaring TV spouting LA 18 in Korean. The English menu was hidden from me upon first entering, colorful dishes depicting the scents and flavors yet to be tasted awaited my eyes instead. No lengthy detailed descriptions were readily available in English. Now this is mom and pop.

Now this is mom and pop:

when there are no uniforms and a TV blaring as if I was at home having a meal in the kitchen. when I feel like I need some interpretation- Can i order "right" by myself? I stare, my eyes shifting left to right over the pictures and descriptions but not really seeing what my options really are. After a good minute or so has passed and I have had to turn away the server at least once because I am not ready to order, I choose something I am only half sure what it is and that I will like it. It's mom and pop when I would take the word of any worker at the restaurant or any [insert ethnicity of the people whose culture I am eating]-looking person on what I should order, leaving my taste buds to their mercy. This is mom and pop.

Now does this make it not mom and pop?:

the pictures of Korean presidents that have eaten at the restaurant along with other celebrities. the myriad of certificates of appreciation and distinction from LA associations and even one from dear ol' dubya. 

one other thing is for sure, it's not my mom and pop so it must be someone else's mom and pop.

eating research

Now what can be better than eating one's research? Tonight, after a full day at FilAm Arts womanning the front desk for the Hollywood Youth and Family Center so that Ms. Grace and Michael could go to their Emergency training, I met up Christable in K-town to do a little research. After driving around the block in an effort to avoid the single man valet who monopolizes the little parking lot, I walked into Beverly Soon Tofu with Christable leading the way. We had to wait a little while for the owner to arrive but I had barely gotten a chance to take in the restaurant before she walked, greeting Christable warmly in Korean before scurrying off to put her stuff down.

The interview lasted about an hour. I quite enjoyed it even though I was barely a part of it. She was more comfortable speaking in Korean so the interview fell to Christable. Watching the interview and the comings and goings in the restaurant became my job. It occurred to me how much I could understand with the few English words the owner used and her animated gesticulations that colored her words, which were, on the face,  unintelligible to me.

Beverly Soon Tofu has been in K-town fro over 20 years and what started as a little "mom and pop" has had to adapt with the times and trends to stay in business, crafting an "authentic" Korean cuisine. There is a soon tofu for everyone, even the vegan! The owner explained to me the English menu, one of the only times she spoke in English. The English language menu(created for the 70% non-Korean patrons of Beverly Soon Tofu) makes it easy for anyone who is not familiar with Korean food to order something that delight their taste buds. The same principle that guides a personalized hamburger guides the soon tofu and bbq at Beverly Soon Tofu. You can get it plain, mild, medium, hot or even hotter if you request it. The name of the restaurant even adapted to non-Korean patrons. The owner explained how she changed the name so that it would be easier for non-Korean speaking customers to remember. The evolution of the restaurant was in an effort to be competitive with the growing number of Korean restaurants in K-town, over 1,000! 

When asked about non-Korean businesses moving into K-town and she thought that it would be a good idea so that more "foreign" (non-Korean) people would be drawn to K-town and bring more business, money, and ideas and these positives would outweigh the fact that rent would go up. She seemed unfazed by the idea that it would displace many people in K-town. She believes it to be the natural flow of things in all the ethnic enclaves. She hopes that K-town becomes a tourist destination like SF Chinatown, her reasoning being that it would still be Korean but not be so much at the mercy of the economy and the influx of new immigration and the proliferation of restaurants that accompanies it.

Her restaurant being a very popular one, one profiled in LA Weekly and documented in numerous other publications, could benefit from "foreign"patrons and businesses and her desire for a SF Chinatown-like K-town makes complete sense for her business and her livelihood. My thoughts about this was only solidified after her obscenely generous dinner of bi bim bop, galbi beef, and a combination soon tofu mild spiciness, when she drove away in her sleek Mercedes SUV. This mom and pop shop is not the the cookie cutter of what I thought I would find in K-town. It is both refreshing and challenging. And it makes me think, everything comes back to privilege, doesn't it?

Firsts

This is a post of firsts. I guess I'm a little late to the blog movement because this is my FIRST blog post EVER! This first blog post commemorates my first full week of being a LEAP and FilAM Arts intern (not including the retreat) and will be a discussion of firsts.

The first first: first impressions of my fellow LIA interns
I have to say that I have never been in a group that clicked so well right away. I think we all have a subtle comfortable chemistry as a group that is safe, welcoming and full of a warm energy. YAY LEAP LIA INTERNS 2008!! After spending 48ish straight hours with them on the retreat I miss them everyday that I don’t see them. Of course that makes the thought of Tuesday Night Café and Thursdays all the more bright.
Retreat highlights: acid river, promises, promises, CRANIUM, mysterious stories that tell you what kind of person you are.
The second first: first day after retreat/ the first Thursday LEAP day
The first real day at the LEAP office I got to see everyone again and finally meet JD. JD’s conversational monologue, which only ended on account of a teleconference, was :D. Hearing about the history of LEAP from a person who helped start it instead of reading off a website made LEAP seem more real. His stories about the dreaded telegram from home while he was in the Peace Core was enjoyable but now I wish I had heard the one about eating chicken with one hand…
Us interns had an awesomely productive powwow about our food and gentrification inspired intern project, deciding on a timeline/calendar, what API ethnic enclaves to do, and delegating tasks. The highlight though was finally getting the stubborn printing whiteboard to print out our brainstorming. Highlight: going out to lunch with the other interns, which, in my recollection, was also my first time ever eating in Little Tokyo. YAY for leftover Oyako donburi!!!

The third first: first day at my CBO, FilAm Arts
Well my first day did not begin with meeting my coordinator as it did for the other interns. My coordinator Jilly is taking a much-earned vacation in the Philippines visiting family etc. I’ve heard she is energetic and the office just isn’t the same right now t=without her. O and she is always sending the interns out to get delectable food. I can’t wait to meet her.
Work doesn’t start until 11am (WOOT WOOT!!) and goes until 7. The FilAm Arts office is upstairs in the Hollywood Youth and Family Center. It consists of one room with tables/desks/book shelves/boxes/binders galore outlining the office with past records, 5ish computers, and the whole FilAm Arts staff and interns as decoration. One table sits in the middle of the room with ube bread atop it and a few chairs surrounding it. There are also a couple of semi-alive plants in the office, wilting in the summer heat despite the air-conditioning. Maybe they are looking frail because they haven’t been watered in a while?? Not sure, still investigating. Anyways, it’s perfect! There’s comfortable clutter and comfortable people, my kind of place.
I was inaugurated as the third intern with a trip to a café for breakfast to chat with Elaine, the logistics director and a enthused stroll with the other two interns, Selyna and Clarissa, to Scoops, the best gelateria outside of Italia I have found to date. I had brown bread and strawberry balsamic vinegar. It may sound odd but don’t knock it til you try it!!!
My first day consisted of looking at my work plan and helping out with whatever was needed. My real work didn’t start until my first fullish week with FilAm.

The fourth first: my first fullish week with FilAm
I say fullish because the 4th of July occupies the Friday of what would have been the first full week at FilAm. Of course technically I’ve been there for a week because I have worked every day of the week that I will be working with FilAM (Monday-Wednesday, Friday). Thus this section is about my first fullish week, not my first full week at FilAm Arts.
It has been full of blog and event searches accompanied by their respective database compiling, calling and leaving way too many messages with prospective sponsors for FPAC, organizing the 7 or so artist call outs we have received in the mail, starting to plan the Remy’s on Temple book event for Underground Undergraduates, and my most challenging task: trying to figure out how the LA public transportation system works so that FPAC can be more eco-friendly. O and not to forget, creating my first ever blog :D
My Fifth, and final, first: my first Tuesday Night Café
A CAPTIVATING, COMFORTING, REFRESHING, HEART TUGGING, SOUL SPINNING, AND MIND PROVOKING NIGHT. I can’t believe such a place exists and that I am now living in the city in which it dwells. THANK YOU.
So I was wrong in saying the fifth was my final first. There are many more firsts to come. The most obvious, to me anyway, is the first posting of a picture. Note to self: 1) take pictures 2) figure out how to post them.

Random addition: my new gmail email: ktkmah@gmail.com and how’d I do, Scott?